Miroku's hands
by the story noob
Summary: A one of a kind comedy plus some fluff in the middle mixed in with some lemony goodness.please read and review!people who are flames and love kikyo or nakraku are not welcome so go to hell kikyo lovers!
1. Mirokus hands

oh and my exclamation mrk button dosent work cuz my mom spilled coffe on it a few months ago so ill use this as 1

well this is my first story so please please review.  
i do not own these characters. so please dont sue me .  
The hands of miroku Miroku you son of a bitch im going to rip your fucking head off And after that as usual sango knocked him uncontious with her boomerang.  
[splash what the hell? why the hell did you do that Inuyasha? feh.  
you were knocked uncontious dumbass.  
well sorry.  
tch.  
why the hell did she do that while rubbing the large bump on his head.  
well lets see u sqweezed her tits and groped her not to mention you tried to have sex with her Inuyasha bellowed.  
hmmmm.good point Inuyasha.  
dam straight miroku.  
so the two went back to a very pissed off camp espeshaly sango.  
hi shippo.  
hi.  
Inuyaasha went to sit by Kagome and Miroku sat alone.  
shippo sat by sango who was very pissed off at Miroku.  
where have you been Miroku hissed sango off trying to get a woman to bear your child again?  
no.  
oh and why is that?hmm. i was asleep.  
oh really?  
yes.  
so whould u be so kind to tell Kagome how it was that u nearly raped me?  
no.  
what Kagome shrieked you did what? she said in a shocked and horrified voice.  
its true Kagome sango said.  
The son of a bitch did try at least.  
im sorry sango. no your not Miroku.  
yea i am i'm going to hang myself now as he walked away.  
oh sango im horrified did he really do this to you? yes.  
It was Inuyashas turn to say somthing i think he loves you sango as i love Kagome.  
Oh inuyasha stop it your making me blush Kagome said.  
i think i can fix that he said with a smile and kissed her she turned an ever darker shade of pink.  
hey stop it please. ok.  
sorry to interupt master Inuyasha but Miroku has returned. thanks Mioga.  
no problem master.  
i tried but i just cant come to tell you sang i really really love you.  
sangos heart skipped 3 beats what?she said blankly i really really love you sango she ran to him i love you to Miroku.ok sorry this chapter is so short its kind of my first story so if i get a chance ill write more if i get at least 2 revews.  
so long and please dont sue me please . 


	2. The lecher in the dark

Mirokus hands

Chapters 2 the lecher in the dark

Hey miroku im gonna take a bath!!!!

And don't look or ill pound you with my Boomerang!

Miroku just stared at sangos butt as she walked away.

Inuyasha then took the opurtunity to scare kagome.

Booooooo!!!

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!

Inuyasha!!

What?  
sit boy!!!!

Thump!  
owww I knew that was coming but it was worth it.

Miroku then started to sneak into the woods but Inuyasha saw him and yanked him back too the camp.

Don't even think about it monk.

Wouldent dream of it Inuyasha.

Uuuuhhhh hhhhuuuuuuuhhhh.

Noo really.

Yeah riiiight.

Ok ok ok ok you got me.

Bout time.

They played checkers with rocks for a while.

Man theve been gone awhile maby I should check on them Miroku.

Ill come with you .

As they found their way they found two naked and sleeping women in the hot spring.

Miroku then as we all know went for his happy place.

Thwank!!!!

Owww!  
what the hell miroku!!!!

You were gone for hours we were worried!!!!

Oooh did we fall asleep??

Yes you did.

Inuyasha woke Kagome and got his share of sits.

Sit,sit,sit,sit,sit!!!!!

Owwwww!  
Inuyasha your such a pervert !!!!

Miroku snikered.

What the hell wrech!!!!

What did you call me?!!!!

A bitch a wrech and a whore!!!!

Sit sit sit sit sit sit sit!!!!

Then a loud and satisfying crunch was heard.

Im going back too my time for a while.

Noo your not!  
yes I am noo your not yes I am!!!!

Nooo your not!!!

Inuyasha

What?  
sit!!!!

Boom owwwwwwwww!!!

My back hurts sooo bad owwww!  
oh you baby!

Shippo then found them all there ,and shouted sango and kagome are naked!!!!!!!!!!!!

The demon slayer and the miko then realized there nudity and blushed a thousand shades of red. Miroku took in the view from the ground at sangos vagina.

Miroku then got his second beating from sango. Then shippo and inuyasha got sango and Kagome towels. Thank you Inuyasha thank you shippo.

You welcome Kagome !

Feh.

Inuyasha hoped into a tree and went too sleep.

In the morning Inuyasha took Kagome too the well.

Hey kagome.

Yes Inuyasha?  
I'm sorry for the way I acted

It's ok Inuyasha.

She then hoped into the well.

ooOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOooOOooOo

End of chapter 2 sorry its so short ill make the next one longer I promise ill also update soon id like too thank Inuyashie lover fer his help.


	3. Daily confused

Chapter 3 Daily Confused

At Kagome's Birthday Party

Ami,Yumi,and suki all call Kagome too got to their Clubhouse

Hey Kagome come over here!!!!! Shouted Suki.

Ok im coming.

As she climed up the ladder She gasped as she saw a giant Birthday cake on the table of their clubhouse.

Ohmygod!!!!

I cant believe this!!!!

You guys are so awesome!

Okok lets eat already Kagome! they all shouted.

As they finished Yami said lets go to the bar Kagome!

Alright.

The four teens went right into the worst of the worst bars in town.

Hey ill by the shots! Kagome shouted.

Ok !after they all had 18 shots of margarita surprise with a little twist they all stumbled home.

As Kagome Stumbled to the well house she fell into the well.

As she landed she sort of climbed out of the well.

Shippo shouted at the top of his lungs Kagome's here Kagome's here!!!

Miroku Greeted Kagome with one of his famous butt grabs.

Thank you Miroku! Hic!

Im hungry lets eat! Hic.

Mmmmmm I want fox meat!!!!!

She stuffs poor shippo onto a pole and starts too cook him.

Aaaahhhhhhh!!!

Kagome!!!!!!

Help me!Inuyasha pushed Kagome over and saved Shippo.

What the hell is wrong with you!?

Hic.

As Kagome falls asleep with Inuyasha someone comes in the middle of the night and captures her.

What the????

Aaaahhhhh inuyasha!!!!!

Help!He cant hear you a cold voice said.

Wh who are you?I am Sesshomaru.

(hehehe wait till you see what happens next p)

As Sesshomaru ripped off Kagome's clothes she screamed in terror.

Help!!!!

Help!

Hel cough cough.

Shut up bitch!

Kagome just stood there in complete terror

As Sesshomaru undressed Kagome just stared at his well built body.

Sesshomaru tried too kiss Kagome but she bit his top lip so hard that it started too bleed.

Why you Bitch!!!!!

Sesshomaru smacked her so hard he knocked her uncontious.

He then humped her too breaking point and left her there alone.

She woke up later and ran far away and ran into Inuyasha.

Inuyasha hugged her and then he smelled sesshomaru and threw her onto the ground and said go away you evil wrech!

He then stomped away and went back too the group.

Inuyasha what happened wheres Kagome?gone shippo shes with Sesshomaru now.

What!!!!!

Yes she is im afaid.

Weve gotto go find her Inuyasha!!!

No we wont.

Yes we will!

No we wont its too dangerous.

No its not!!

Yes it is Shippo!

We wont go until sundown alright?!

Ok Inuyasha.

Kagome went back too the well and went to her time.

In Kagome's Time

She then threw up on the floor

Pluuuugggghhhhh!.

Eeeeeewwwwwww!

Oh man I need too lie down she went to her room and went to sleep.

Riiiiiiing riiiiiing!

She shut off her alarm and did the 50 yard dash to the batrhroom.

Ppppplllllllluuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhh!

This is the fifth time in the last four days this has happened!

Kagome honey Breakfast is ready!!

Ok mom!

Im not hungry.

But Kagome its your favorite sushi!

Im not hungry!!!!!!!

Ok.

She went too the quicky mart too buy some milk and a pregnancy test.

She then went home and did her chores for the day and went to the bathroom too throw up again.

She then took the pregnancy test and waited 5 seconds.

Beep!

Its blue noooo it cant bee!!!!

It is nooo!no!

No!

No!

No!I cant believe this!this cant be happeneing.

This is insane!

Im dreaming ok ok.

Phew she then took the test and showed it too her mom.

Uuuhh mom doo you know what this means?

Noo why?

It's a pregnancy test.

Oookk?

Its blue because it positive.

Omfg Kagome how did this happen?uummm Sessomaru did it.

Who the heck is that?!!!!

Umm Inuyasha's older half brother.

Kagome what do you want to do with the baby?abortion.

Your serious?yes mom it's for the best.

Ok it's your life.

They went too the hospital after 50 barf stops.

When they arrived the nurse called miss Kagome Higurashi?

Yes?the doctor will see you now.

Aaahhhh miss higurashi may I ask why you want an abortion?because im too young for a chld and don't think I can take care of it.

Now that's some real reasons there ok lets begin.

Later Kagome left the hospital and went down the well.

When she arrived she was greeted by Shippo,Miroku,Sango.

Hey Kagome!

Hello shippo!!!

Wheres Inuyasha?he left 2 days ago to somewhere.

Oh.

They all spent that night talking about resesnt events and went too s;leep.

A few hours later Inuyasha arrived after everyone was asleep.

Aaaah Seshomarus whore is here.

In the morning Inuyasha made Breakfast and shoved Kagome her bowl.

Here.

Thank you Inuyasha.

Feh.

Everyone ate peacefully except Inuyasha that is.

Where to now Kagome?I don't know?choose somewhere already retard!!!!!!!!

Watch it!(hehe Inuyasha is being mean because he thinks Kagome choose Sesshomru over him p)

Ill sit you soo many times youll never walk!!!!

Screw you bitch!

Sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit!

Oooowwwwww.

Later that night Kagome followed Inuyasha to kikyo and saw him kissing her.

Then the next morning Inuyasha goes to hell with kikyo.

Kagome finds the letter Inuyasha left.

Kagome new exactly where Inuyasha was so she went there but ended up being there to late.

Noooooooooooo!

How could of this happened to me!

But just when luck turned a guy named takahashauhe.

He is the only person that knows how to travel to hell.

So Kagome travels to hell to stop Inuyasha from picking kikyo to be his mate.

Just in time Kagome stops Inuyasha.

So Kagome tells Inuyasha everything that hads happen to her even about Sesshomaru.

Right there in Kagome's face Inuyasha ask's if Kagome will be his mate.

Kagome says yes I will!

Inuyasha says let's go back to Japan Kagome says that sounds like a good plan……………..

Comeing to them is a whole new PROBLEM!!!!!!!!???????TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
